Is life in France as good as it looks?

This is not a post that’s going to answer that question with a rose-colored glasses type of answer like, “No, life in France is even BETTER than it looks” and go on to list off a bunch of clichés about life here that are largely unhelpful. I can do better than that and you deserve a more thoughtful answer. The answer I am going to give you isn’t so black and white though, so let’s talk…

If you’ve spent any time scrolling through Instagram or YouTube, you’ve probably seen dreamy images of life in France. I know I have! You know the ones — golden sunsets over vineyard-dotted hills, fresh baguettes under someone’s arm, and perfectly chic café moments with people who look so perfectly coiffed that you’re sure they just stepped out of a magazine shoot.

It’s easy to think, “Wow, life there must be perfect.” And maybe vacation is… but is real life in France as good as it looks?

The honest answer is: sometimes yes and sometimes no. And it depends far more on YOU than on the location itself.

The basics matter everywhere

Before we even get to France, it’s worth saying: life is better anywhere if your basic needs are met. If you have shelter, food, safety, good relationships, and a purpose/way to sustain yourself, you have the foundations for a good life.

Without those, even the most beautiful place can feel like hell. And with those, even a less Instagrammable spot can feel full of potential. Add in some free time where you aren’t working 24/7, a healthy body and mind, and some money and you’ve got it made.

Now turning to France specifically, I’d be remiss if I didn’t start off by saying it has a lot going for it. Health insurance for all (that’s not job dependent) — so no going bankrupt if you have an accident, a great work-life balance — hello 5 weeks of paid vacation for all employees, amazing food and wine and architecture and history…. I could go on all day. But read this post for more on that front. 

France isn’t a shortcut to happiness

Sure, there are obvious perks — gorgeous architecture, a rich culture, incredible food, and a certain rhythm to life that feels slower and more deliberate than in many other countries. 

But here’s the reality for 99% of us: People who love life in France have generally put in the time to get to that point. They don’t just arrive, unpack, and wait for the magic to happen around them just because they’re in France. And if you think you love “everything about France,” you’re not ready to move here.

Yeah, having healthcare is great and seeing the postcard-worthy sights is magical, but once the honeymoon period wears off, it’s time to put in the work.

Life in France is just regular life after a while with all the stresses and joys that come with it.

Those of us who end up thriving abroad:

* Learn the language (and keep trying, even when it’s hard)
* Make an effort to form real friendships and social connections
* Take time to understand French customs, be curious about life here, and adapt 
* Accept that things work differently in France and choose to embrace that, not fight it

All of that takes patience, humility, and persistence.

P.S. People majorly underestimate what a total life change entails.

Why social media gives us a skewed picture

If we only judged France by what the algorithm shows us without digging any deeper, we’d think France was some kind of paradise where everyone who comes here ends up living a fairytale life.

Spoiler: It’s not. France isn’t perfect.

Also, there’s a natural bias to what we’re shown online. People who aren’t happy in France aren’t creating entire YouTube channels or blogs about their unhappiness or how much they hate their life. If they are, their content is less likely to go viral because audiences prefer positive, uplifting stories (although every time I talk about mistakes I’ve made, it’ll get 10x more views than what I did right).

I’ve also found that when you talk about less than great things, people love to blame the victim and judge. In fact, I just heard Matthew McConaughey say on the 10% Happier podcast with Dan Harris something like society loves to hammer the guy who missed the shot instead of praising the guy who made the shot and it’s so true. As creators, it’s just easier to focus on the good things so you’re not setting yourself up to be hammered.

That means our feeds are full of people telling us how great life in France is. And yes, much of it is positive. I’m guilty of it. I’ve written a ton of positive posts praising France over the years like unexpected positive surprises, the best things about living here, endearing French habits, and the France I love.

All if that is 100% true, but it’s not the whole picture, although it’s easy to make it look that way online. Social media is a highlight reel where we show what we want to show.

To give you some examples of the less than perfect stuff:

My worst ever experience in France was in a grocery store when the manager put his hands on me. I’ve had appointments with doctors who have left me in tears. Tom’s been mugged at knifepoint more than once in his life (in touristy beach towns). Our next door neighbor’s house was broken into while they were home and a couple up the street had their dirt bikes stolen out of their backyard when they were on vacation by drug traffickers who wanted to have some fun. 

I could go on…. Now, is this “the norm” in France? No, but bad things can happen here too. Even if you live in a “nice” area.

Something else I’ve mentioned many times is that when you experience a major life challenge that you could face anywhere, it can feel even heavier when you live abroad and aren’t surrounded by the people, systems, and ways of life you grew up with. Add in culture shock, a language barrier, etc. and it’s even harder. One of those moments for me was when my mom died.

Also, back to online content. Be extra wary of advice coming from content creators (not professional lawyers, insurance experts, etc.) who have a financial interest in your move. What are their credentials? Are they selling a visa service or move abroad course? Just be careful and do your research.

Anyway, just know there are people who struggle to find their place, doubt their move, don’t learn French, feel lonely, or never quite adapt — and they’re living in the same postcard-perfect towns as the people who post daily about how much they love it.

I personally LOVE New York City. It’s my favorite city in the world. I went to college there and have a 9/11 trauma bond of sorts. But I know many people out there HATE New York City. It’s the same anywhere.

Then there’s a huge majority of people somewhere in between the two extremes just living life and enjoying the good while not focusing on the bad.

Wherever you go, there you are

One of my favorite sayings applies here: Wherever you go, there you are. (Oh, and the grass is greener where you water it. And damn, writing that made me glance out to my backyard that I need to mow today, which is my least favorite chore. Send help!).

If you’re unhappy with yourself, moving to France won’t erase that. You might get a temporary boost from the excitement of a new place, but eventually, your old patterns, insecurities, and habits will catch up with you.

External factors like the climate, scenery, culture, cost of living, and temporary excitement can make life better, but they can’t make you better. 

 The best version of you is the version that should move

If you want to enjoy life in France (or anywhere), the most powerful thing you can do is work on yourself first.

* Build your confidence
* Cultivate resilience
* Work on your weaknesses
* Learn how to find joy in everyday moments
* Develop healthy routines and relationships
* Strengthen your body and mind

If you arrive in France already grounded in who you are and what you can offer the world, you’re more likely to navigate the inevitable challenges of expat life with grace — and to fully enjoy the parts that actually are as good as they look.

So… is life in France as good as it looks?

Let’s get back to the title question of this post. For me, the answer is yes — most days. But not because France is some magical place where life is automatically perfect. Not because of the healthcare or the scenery or the food or the people.

It’s because I’ve put in the effort to integrate, to learn, and to grow here. France offers an incredible backdrop for a good life… like many places around the world. But the real magic that makes it “as good as it looks” comes from the person living it.

And that part? Well, that’s on you.